I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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