This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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