How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
