You can't motorboat a personality
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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