I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize