Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
