Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
