so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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