you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
