so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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