I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
