i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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