Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
So vagazzling was a success
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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