Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
