Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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