I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
