she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
BRING THE BAGELS
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