apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
