suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
