am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
