I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
