ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
