My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
