i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize