Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
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if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
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coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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