I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
