Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
