I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Barsexuality is the new black.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
