How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
