Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
