just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
