it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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