At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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