Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
