I want to walk on stilts...naked
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
His hands were made for my vagina.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Randomize
