Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
