i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
