Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
