from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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