I am in a vortex of obligation.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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