allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
