Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
