Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
