u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Randomize
