Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
