After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
