This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
