Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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