Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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