its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
