Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
