i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Mom said you looked used
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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