I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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