got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Four minutes until I can fart!
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
