i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
dude. I can hear the air.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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