Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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