Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
