i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
