Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
