u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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