The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
