I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize