Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
