I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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