I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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