So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
